There must be something strangely sacred in salt. It is in our tears and in the sea.
Khalil Gibran

There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief . . . and unspeakable love. 
Washington Irving

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This post is for those of us who have to drag ourselves through the holidays.

In my world: first hurdle – selling, second hurdle – lush holiday, third hurdle – hormone fest, fourth hurdle – buying.  My reward for crossing the not finished line is the month of love and old anniversary while I am single.  Okay, yeah, whatever.  yee HAW

I know many have it worse, I am fully aware of that.  I am often my own worst problem and I am fully aware of that also.  Saturn Rx ruler in Aries 3 equals roadblocks of the mind / actions. I KNOW it, I SEE it (Saturn trines Sag Mars in 11) happening . . .so I percolate and stew on the issue – until PoP !   Action comes in a rush ~>

Lately I have been struggling with the sauce again.  I haven’t mentioned it because my mother reads this on occasion, who knows who else.  Well, now she knows, you know.  Everybody knows. 

There is a reason I call myself Neptune girl – Neptooney is the source of major lessons in my natal – suffering and transcendence; sensitivity and deception.  Artists deliver hard lessons over and over. Fame is nearly always a factor, as is music.  The surprise gain and subsequent loss of love, fame and infamy, villans and heroes – are all laid upon my astrological banquet table.

I divinate in every way I know how because it is the only way I have found to survive the stress shocks.  Forewarning is necessary so that I may fortify – force myself into lock and load deal with it mode. 

Thus I have tuned Neptuner in some ways to my advantage – yet make no mistake – this slippery fish is ever changing and elusive.  She is the siren and the shipwreck. 

I have written about alcoholics and natal aspects here.  I figured I might backslide, it’s common – go sober awhile – get cocky, I can handle it now.

Yeah, right.
Neptune squaring Leo – self deception is the crowned King. 
Lovely. 

…yet, I know things happen for a reason, and I have a few ideas…

The Neptune in Aquarius years were particularly horrific for me.  My natal Neptuner squares Venus conjunct Jupiter in Leo 8th; Neptune transit Aquarius means it opposed Leo as well.

So when Neptune went retrograde, dipped into Aquarius one last time – of course the Aquarian re-appeared, threw me for yet another love loop – stole my heart (and that’s not all) then vanished.
 I regain a bit of equilibrium (Libra MC), am making progress here – cue new hero, new gains followed by new loss, shiny new suffering and new lock down status in order to deal and process.
This loss I have taken hard.
This one is exceptional, magnificent, the dovetailing, sublime.

I remember writing when Neptune was about to go retrograde back into Aquarius, that ‘we had forgot something and we had to go back and fetch it.’
 It just flopped in the brain pan and I went with it.  How true it turned out to be, that Claircognizance / Preception thing I get was spot on.

This whole time I was taking clematis flower essence from flowers I gathered on the last Pisces Full Moon in Aquarius. Clematis promotes practicality and reality.  Did it help ?  Considering past Neptooney transits and love transitions, yes, it helped.

Good Goddess, the irony. 
That last total solar eclipse was conjunct my natal Neptuner, so I figure North Node approach is right on time.  Have I flushed all the Scorpionic Neptuner 8th house squares from my system. . .? 

Unlikely, but I am getting there.  
Mercury sextiles Jupiter from Libra 9th at MC, so I write and Write and WRITE in order to GET RIGHT, ya dig ?

be careful out there
with all best wishes for
health, happiness, love and peace of mind . . .
! * happy 2013 * !
gneissmoonastrology.net

New name is a cosmic joke, really
Leo on the regenerative 8th house
makes me laugh, I’m keeping it.
O&O