the breaking

It took me forever to write about the 6/12th houses for good reason.  Neptune is a big player in my chart.  It is not easy to admit I feel and likely inflict the pain, surrender and sorrow of the 12th.  Twelfth house Neptunian energy silently emerges and recedes, it is seductive and filled with illusions and dreams.  It is a part of me I have to accept.

Not suitable for realistic Saturnian audiences.  Most excellent movie material though. Aeons of heARTwork across herstory is testament to pain and suffering brought to life and transformed by the creative urge to manifest human desires.  One way or another desire will find a way to spill, stream and rush itself onto the material plane.

Is creative genius always the product of profound suffering . . .?

My Neptune lives in Aqua 11 and I don’t  KNOW.
Neptune shrouds the answer from me. 

Neptune in Aquarius had all the romance of an electric eel winding around my heart.  I haven’t looked up PTSD symptoms, not yet.  Pretty sure I’ve got them, and I’m not ready to know just now.   Part and parcel of living with Sun/Ura/Pluto.

I am drowning in deep waters, in the mineshaft of my 8th house. Neptune surrounds me again by opposing my late Leo Venus/Jupes by transit, while natal Neptune squares them.  This Neptune Rx is the last clearing out of the dross of the painful Aqua years, I am surrendering to the feelings of loss, grieving . . . and releasing it. 

Progressed: Uranus is rightontop of my Venus with Pluto on standby – the whole mess opposes prog Saturn Rx (my natal ruler).
Transit Uranus is applying to conjunct prog Saturn by transit.

I don’t have anything witty, humorous or genius to share, right now I feel empty.
Just another turn of the wheel, it will pass, like all transits do. . .

SoOo . . . I am Virgoing out, canning tomatoes, keeping busy, I will sing Peter Jackson’s praises later this Labor Day weekend, I don’t know when. 

I am metamorphing just like everyone else, and it’s painful, just like I knew it would be.
Still I keep the faith.

Amin lava