Category Archives: Addiction

Crawl into my World

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Chris Cornell Singles

Chris Cornell, Soundgarden as seen in Singles

Chris Cornell died (police report suicide by hanging, his family disputes this) after his recent Detroit show on Wednesday at the young age of 52.
Incredibly talented man with an unforgettable voice.
Huge Syd Barrett fan too.
Syd is my (primary) patron, so it occurred to me he might have been around to help Chris with his transition, so I asked him.

What follows is a series of Q&A using various card methods – the draw and answer follow the questions.  Lastly, I of course, tackle the astrology.

? Syd, have you checked in on him yet ?
No, he had a troubled passing … but you’re gonna ask me to aren’t you ?
Me: yep.
Syd: Ok, I’ll check in on him.
Me: Thanks, love. x

Chris Cornell Syd

? Chris what was going through your mind the night you died ?
1 Eligor: (Venus) conflict/warfare and strategy; rise or find someone who can
2 Orias: (Moon) inspiration/Hermes, thoughts beyond logic, instinctual responses
3 Bifrons: (Mars) new chapter/transformation, death

Seems he was at war with himself, felt he had no way out than to go higher.

Chris Cornell FA

 ? Chris, now that you are on the other side, what say you ?
Be wary of quick decisions that lead you into the cave of the unknown, rather be generous when judging yourself, disappointment will pass. Turn your creative eye towards those who love you and seek emotional adaptation and wise counsel to assist you as you conquer your demons.

Chris Cornell Other Side

Syd, do you have any parting thoughts ..?
Thanks for hooking me up with your (our) friend, I told him you send him your love. Share this caution to the spooked herd. Rise above the pain and drama and know that his energy remains, infinitely enfolding. Though he lost this challenge, he will, in time, rise again with strength to face the next.

CC2

Natch, I also checked the astro.
Chris has an unaspected Cancer Sun (Moon rules Cancer, fluctuates) which was under a progressed Mars transit (conjunct).  This is a call to courage, strength and willpower – a need to release tension properly lest a risky gamble backfire in the heat of the moment.

Unaspected Cancer Sun often has deep feelings that may go unexpressed due to feeling alone and singular in expression. Releasing pressure for an unaspected Sun is more difficult when it doesn’t ‘relate’ to other planets in the natal.

Progressed Virgo Mercury Rx was opposite his natal Saturn Rx in Pisces, which can indicate mental stress, fatigue, and a resultant overmedication. Thoughts become jumbled in the face of reality. Work issues may seem insurmountable or insecurities may begin to run the whole the show.

In addition, not only was transiting Mars conjunct his natal Venus/Mars conjunction in the mental sign of Gemini which points to heightened anxiety, but also transiting Uranus the eccentric was square his natal Sun. Chris took Ativan to combat this anxiety which is a part of his natal signature.  (So do I.)  It is reported he grew confused after taking too much which led to his death.

Rest In Peace, Chris
You will be missed by so, so many.
Oh…and when you get a chance, please tell Syd I love him. Thanks love x

The Awakening

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Suspended_by_CygX1

Suspended CygX1

I mentioned in my twitter feed yesterday that I am having a Saturn transit to natal Neptune.  My astral subconscious higher self is doing Dream Work in spades.

Two days ago I dreamt I found my (lost) white cat in my basement covered in swamp muck.  I was happy to see him, cleaned him right up and we were both happily spiffy and reunited.  Note that a Saturn transit to my natal Neptune also delivers Saturn squares to natal Leo Venus/Jupiter in my 8th – hence, basement, cats, healing.

I have written about dreams in depth here before – symptom of giant Neptuner – you can find them here.

This morning’s dream ok WOW.   It was fan- freakin’- tastic !
It was very structural in nature – lots of squares and foundations.
Saturn !
:::::::::::::::

Fog clears and I see light snowfall on the ground, 1 woman and 2 guys going canoeing.  The girl is not appropriately dressed for the weather or the task: shorts and heeled sandals.  They take off and I follow with my friends.  At this point my dream premonition takes a turn and the 5′ x 5′ square of cut grass/ground I previously ‘saw’ them floating on (while also in the canoe) instead passes them, rushing downstream.

At this point, the guys disappear and I am focusing on the woman who has now toppled off the canoe far downstream, is sinking under the crystal clear water, drowning.  Just as I reach her, the last bit of air escapes from her lungs in one large bubble.  Lifting her up, I do the Heimlich and she spews a stream of vomit, then at last, gasps for air.

She, is obviously, me.  The former drunken Venus/Jupes square Neptune me.
Mischief Managed.  I saved her ass from drowning. Credit also goes to a lovely Capricorn who showed up twice to lend me a hand.  We have whammy composite culminations.  With his help, I got sober (again).
Eight months dry as a bone.

I was also very sick for many years (not from drinking) and it took me quite some time and a lot of hard work to improve my health in every area: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.  This dream points directly to that very difficult time.

This is where I leave that girl behind, and my dream path (predictably) goes up by several octaves. . .

Andrei SokolovAndrei Sokolov

I discover we are on a river path to a salt crystal cave, which is partially built, in addition to being naturally formed.  I examine the massive stones as I climb downstream into the sunlit cave – they have been masoned to perfectly fit one another, despite their odd shapes.  Several small groups of people are gathered around, I gravitate to a calm side pool on the first plateau, lit from a carved window on our right.

There is quiet conversation, explorations into the caverns, into the water, people are friendly and chill.  This is a place of healing.  I still… take a deep breath and begin to relax.  Looking to my right, I find several loose piles of salt crystals scattered – they are everywhere in this cave.  I am curious, pick some up and pile them into my hand.

Within seconds, to my amazement, a small evergreen begins to grow from these crystal shards.  A man next to me (a father watching his boy play in the water) points to his tree sitting behind him.  I smile, and place mine on a rocky outcrop next to his, noting the small red berries.  After seeing one more small evergreen grow, I then pick up a slightly different cube shaped crystal formation.

The_Awakening_by_CygX1The Awakening CygX1

The cubic crystal is soft and pliable, though it retains its essential quadratic shape.  I slowly begin to mould it, work it until the crystal separates into thin sheets like a deck of cards or the pages of a small book.  When I turn them over in my hands I see they are holographic, revealing countless delicate layers of finely crafted, exquisitely detailed  images.

I am drawn to one image.  As I focus, I am seeing into a portal which reveals vast knowledge borne in a singular holographic image – a world, indeed – a multiverse unfolds before my inner eye from one small sheet of crystal.  Images fast frame at light speed in my mind delivering vast volumes of understanding in nanoseconds.  With the intake of a breath, I blink, bringing the onrush to an idle.

The card waits for me, knowing. 

Very slowly, I fan all the crystal cards held in my palms, realizing I have hundreds…each holding untold treasures of innumerable, unknown worlds.  It is staggering, humbling yet vastly comforting.  I lift my eyes to find the father silently watching me.  We meet eyes, nod solemnly.  We understand the gift consequentially carries great responsibility.  Silently, I gather them and reverently tuck them away in a safe, sacred space before venturing deeper into the cave…

Peace
GMA

outside the box

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Boris Vallejo

Eclipses. 
RESPECT !

Eclipses interp here – Power Steering.

Like many, I am having one hell of an eclipse ride, and yes, I have a few choice words to add to the celestial gumbo.  Moon IS in Virgo, after all.
I am finding my voice, becoming stronger.

Astrology is the best tool for understanding wtf is going on with me & you & everybody else.  Above and beyond the clarity it delivers as an intricate personal life map, astrology delivers amazingly profound insights into how & why people approach life differently.  Any expectation of similar reactions between any two people becomes decisively idiotic when one is intimately familiar with the myriad of astrological variables.

Trust – Virgos LOVE being intimately familiar with a myriad of variables.

Asteroid Logos 58534 – Logical, rational, reasoned discourse.  Data, variables, weaving sacred patterns, shamanic distillation, extraction or assemblage.
currently Logos Rx at 28 Virgo (at the nodal degree)

I had yet another eclipse deal breaker moment earlier this evening.
I think outside the box, do my own thing, which is not often appreciated, or accepted.
Pfft. Fuckit.  I’m done.  It has been a loOong time coming.
FiveFiveFive on the clock when I left work + a nanosecond after my circuit breaker finally blew, Ganesha popped off the wall.  BOOM

That brings me to something else, my writing.  The circuit breaker I am referring to above is my brain – I know my writing sometimes throws a tangential curve.  Phrases drop into my brainpan via Saturn Aries 3 trine Sag Mars quintile Uranus 9 + Merc MC quintlie ASC.  Many times I have heard that I have said the exact word/phrase called for in a reading that confirms, clarifies, is the catalyst for change.

These phrases from the multiverses are triggers meant to shift your perspective.

I don’t and won’t write ponderous prose pieces with corners tucked so tight you can bounce a quarter to the ceiling.  I don’t slip chocolates under your word pillow or give you the tit.  My writing style is Aesop’s, Cliff’s Notes, Dynamic Ditty.
Countless times what I write is correct at the backdoor, only to disappear/change via strange computer blips upon public post. (Sun/Ura/Plu 9)  I don’t like it, but I live with it, I am the unapologetic Queen of Edit.

Next full disclosure – I cover addiction astrology here at GMA for a reason – I am one.
Classic Venus square Neptuner issue + when you toss in biggie-size Jupiter…well it ain’t pretty.  Several months ago, someone said something that pissed me off, triggered something else that pissed me off and next thing I know, deamon brew has me by the throat again.  I was doing all I could to fix the sitch privately without a win.  It sucked. 
Then my catalyst walked in, recalibrated my headspace – cold turkey, just like always.  Eight weeks out today.

Speaking of deamons and Archangels, I have no qualms about using both decks side by side.  Why ?  I know my shadow side – I don’t live there – but I know it.  Those who refuse to look are (as my old therapist used to say) frosting the turd.
I have far too much Scorpio for that. + I am a multi-Virgo intimately familiar with a myriad of variables.
Love and light decks lean too far to the saccharine, equate the devil to a bad day, 10 of swords to oops ! the unicorn fainted – while some deamon decks are too far entrenched in the negative abyss, the devil becomes spirit possession in need of exorcism, 10 of swords becomes serial killer rampage.

My intent as Divenusian is to uncover the truth – plain and simple.
I use each deck as a foil to the other.
Part and parcel of Libra MC.

Todays cards drawn for incoming Full Moon Eclipse in Libra.
Fallen Angel Oracle

ForneusElement: Earth
Planet: Moon

Forneus teaches the knowledge and understanding of languages and tongues, the art of rhetoric.  Being a worthy and honest opponent leads to a good reputation, makes one beloved by foes as well as friends.
His totem beast is a sea monster, signifying deep knowledge and understanding of the subconscious, including the shadow side – the faults we prefer to disregard, but which trip us up when ignored.

EpipArchangel Raziel
Student teaching & mentorships – lights passing each other on spiritual journeys.
Self-discovery, contemplating mysteries.  Steering your ship.  Wise advice incoming.
Hermit heeding own counsel.

peace
GMA

Phoenix

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photo 20Working with my hands, crunching numbers this morning a thought popped in.

What a fucked up way to begin year of the horse.  A man (Philip Seymour Hoffman) whose work I admire loses his battle with heroin addiction.  Heroin aka: horse.

I get messages from the other side all the time, so not wondering where he is, more what he would like to tell us in retrospect.
I decided to ask. I wanted to know.  Addiction sucks, been there.
So, this reading is in a nutshell what PSH would like to tell us.

Phoenix
Element fire, planet, Moon.  Aside from the obvious message of hope he delivers, this card indicates a need for his fans to refresh their spirits with art, music and poetry.
Make a new start, move on.  He encourages this, being an artist himself.

King of Arrows- Kingfisher
Bird of air & water, smart and creative, emotions keen, kingfisher dives into the water.  Arrows obviously refers to needles, this suit is intellect, but it is also strife.  He thought he had it, judged (the amount ?) correctly.  Mercurial thought conjoined Neptunian substances and illusion, this was sadly, not the case.

Bones of Blood
This card is attitude.  Any addict knows the user gets one after a long period of sobriety.  Starts getting cocky, thinking I can handle it now.   Been there.  This is a card of caution for other addicts, like me.

Be at peace, GMA

clear for takeoff

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Even with a life chock full of strange, these aspects feel weird.
Synchronicities/brainstorms are flying/raining in so fast I am losing count.

Shifts in the crusts post on the 9.27 for example, coincided with the most sublime focus in perspective – bending the crystal prismatic to YES. 
I knew I would know when I was ready, turns out I was not the only one.

I will explain…

First weekend of September I was chatting with one of my students about films/books she really digs Buddy Holly & Zac Efron, so I did a quickie run down for fun, explaining how the energy of synastry works.  Turns out Zac’s Sun is on her Moon (trine her Venus).  Sun/Moon is a great couples aspect (Yang male on Yin female), toss in harmony to Venus and that’s a great start.  Just a start – the whole wheel has to be considered, most definitely Mercury (communication) and Mars (heat !) as well.
Casting agents must moonlight in astrology – the good ones are certainly very intuitive about combinations of people.

Continue reading →

outta here

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Quick note to those with
a mind / heart bent towards
leaving a bad habit
behind.

Primarily I am meaning substances
 but it can be anything
you believe you are too emotionally
(water moon)
attached to.

After Full Pisces Moon
(see time below)
is the best time to do a 
ceremony of endings.

Waning Moon indicates
energies are withering, on the decrease.

Thursday 19
Pisces Full Moon
6:13am CST, USA

Friday 20
Pluto stations direct
in Capricorn 10:29am

This time is doubly good as North Node of Destiny
(what we need to do now)
 in Scorpio is ruled by Pluto – planet of
transformation, rebirth and metamorphosis.

N Node is conjunct Saturn both at 8 degrees
Eight is strength / regeneration.

Saturn binds.
Pisces is the 12th house sign.
Pluto stationing direct : outward bound rebirth.
Endings.

:::::::
Energy Clearing HERE
::::::

Peace
GMA

Divenusian Octopussy

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There must be something strangely sacred in salt. It is in our tears and in the sea.
Khalil Gibran

There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief . . . and unspeakable love. 
Washington Irving

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This post is for those of us who have to drag ourselves through the holidays.

In my world: first hurdle – selling, second hurdle – lush holiday, third hurdle – hormone fest, fourth hurdle – buying.  My reward for crossing the not finished line is the month of love and old anniversary while I am single.  Okay, yeah, whatever.  yee HAW

I know many have it worse, I am fully aware of that.  I am often my own worst problem and I am fully aware of that also.  Saturn Rx ruler in Aries 3 equals roadblocks of the mind / actions. I KNOW it, I SEE it (Saturn trines Sag Mars in 11) happening . . .so I percolate and stew on the issue – until PoP !   Action comes in a rush ~>

Lately I have been struggling with the sauce again.  I haven’t mentioned it because my mother reads this on occasion, who knows who else.  Well, now she knows, you know.  Everybody knows. 

There is a reason I call myself Neptune girl – Neptooney is the source of major lessons in my natal – suffering and transcendence; sensitivity and deception.  Artists deliver hard lessons over and over. Fame is nearly always a factor, as is music.  The surprise gain and subsequent loss of love, fame and infamy, villans and heroes – are all laid upon my astrological banquet table.

I divinate in every way I know how because it is the only way I have found to survive the stress shocks.  Forewarning is necessary so that I may fortify – force myself into lock and load deal with it mode. 

Thus I have tuned Neptuner in some ways to my advantage – yet make no mistake – this slippery fish is ever changing and elusive.  She is the siren and the shipwreck. 

I have written about alcoholics and natal aspects here.  I figured I might backslide, it’s common – go sober awhile – get cocky, I can handle it now.

Yeah, right.
Neptune squaring Leo – self deception is the crowned King. 
Lovely. 

…yet, I know things happen for a reason, and I have a few ideas…

The Neptune in Aquarius years were particularly horrific for me.  My natal Neptuner squares Venus conjunct Jupiter in Leo 8th; Neptune transit Aquarius means it opposed Leo as well.

So when Neptune went retrograde, dipped into Aquarius one last time – of course the Aquarian re-appeared, threw me for yet another love loop – stole my heart (and that’s not all) then vanished.
 I regain a bit of equilibrium (Libra MC), am making progress here – cue new hero, new gains followed by new loss, shiny new suffering and new lock down status in order to deal and process.
This loss I have taken hard.
This one is exceptional, magnificent, the dovetailing, sublime.

I remember writing when Neptune was about to go retrograde back into Aquarius, that ‘we had forgot something and we had to go back and fetch it.’
 It just flopped in the brain pan and I went with it.  How true it turned out to be, that Claircognizance / Preception thing I get was spot on.

This whole time I was taking clematis flower essence from flowers I gathered on the last Pisces Full Moon in Aquarius. Clematis promotes practicality and reality.  Did it help ?  Considering past Neptooney transits and love transitions, yes, it helped.

Good Goddess, the irony. 
That last total solar eclipse was conjunct my natal Neptuner, so I figure North Node approach is right on time.  Have I flushed all the Scorpionic Neptuner 8th house squares from my system. . .? 

Unlikely, but I am getting there.  
Mercury sextiles Jupiter from Libra 9th at MC, so I write and Write and WRITE in order to GET RIGHT, ya dig ?


be careful out there
with all best wishes for
health, happiness, love and peace of mind . . .
! * happy 2013 * !
gneissmoonastrology.net

New name is a cosmic joke, really
Leo on the regenerative 8th house
makes me laugh, I’m keeping it.
O&O