Odd how things work out some days. I was in the library over lunch (found the perfect movie while idly browsing) and found a Book of Psalms with groovy old illustrations for 3 bucks. I opened it for some Bibliomancy during a day of little to no hope and my finger went right for this:
Psalms 71:13 Let them be confounded and consumed that are adversaries to my soul; let them be covered with reproach and dishonor that seek my hurt. 14: But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.
Jupiter is square my Virgo Sun/Ura/Pluto stellium, while Pluto Rx squares Saturn Rx ruler. Gloom Despair And Agony On Me Throughout the day I was feeling, let’s just say, lackluster. Hopelessness and thoughts of suicide were rolling and rattling in my brain – let me make clear this is NOT a cry for help. Ya dig – ?!
Just cranial investigations.
Capricorn rising tends toward melancholy, Uranus rules suicides, tr.Jupiter square my Sun (life) / Uranus / Pluto (death) was sending the vibrations. I have Venus conjunct Jupiter (both rule dandelions) in Leo 8th house (death) square Neptune (suffering) in my natal. These thoughts are nothing new for me, strong Plutonic / 8th house peeps slink over to the dark side all the time just for kicks, but the feelings about suicide were oddly keen today, so I looked up the rulership, and spent some time mulling it over.
Uranus squares / hard conjunctions to Sun (life) or malefics Mars, Saturn or Pluto can bring stressful separation (suicidal) energy to a boiling point – especially when difficult transits trigger both the natal and progressed. Sun square Jupiter can signal a loss of faith, hope.
I am lucky to have Saturn Rx in Aries trine Mars in Sag – I don’t ever give up. They are off to one side doing their own thing in my chart – thankfully not tangled up in the snafu going on elsewhere. I realize not everyone is geared this way, so if your despair is too great, you are adrift and lost and you need to talk to someone RIGHT NOW, dial toll free in the US 1-800-273-8255 anytime day or night.
Following the same train of thought…later in the evening, (playing hooky from working GMA) I watched Detachment. Premise: A substitute teacher who drifts from classroom to classroom (never staying long enough to form any semblance of sentient attachment) finds a connection to the students and teachers during his latest assignment. Like him, they are in a life and death struggle to find beauty in a seemingly vicious and loveless world.
Perfect transit movie.
Uranus = detachment
Jupiter = teachers, hope
Many times I have wondered what I am doing here yammering on about inspirational astro biz when my personal (?) life is far from together, but then a movie like Detachment reminds me. Being honest about my mistakes, my struggles, means others can see themselves and their pain reflected in me – and feel far less alone as they machete their path through their own jungle.
So I keep shining – two jobs, crap transits, dark void moon or no, I am right here, fighting the good fight, doing my Jedi thang. xo
Ps. Thanks for showing up team, you help me too.
What’s UP coming in the am after zzzz…
om mani padme hum